The Importance of Looking for Light
When on a journey that sometimes seems endless and hopeless, looking for glimmers of light is essential. When my son was initially diagnosed with schizophrenia, images of him hospitalized and unable to communicate with the world filled my thoughts with panic and overwhelming fear. At that point I had a lot to learn about schizophrenia and the medical and psychological progress that had transpired since I was in graduate school. Seeking knowledge from the amazing amount of recent research was enlightening and provided direction for possible recovery. That was the beginning of our search for light and we found some glimmers that enabled us to move forward with his treatment.
Many factors, of course, impact recovery from mental illness but with the right treatment and sometimes years of perseverance, recovery is possible for many, if not most individuals, in this day and age. The path is often circuitous and discouraging. Over the years, he has tried many different medications and therapists. He finished college but not without immense perseverance over a period of 8 years. He found and lost many jobs on his way to find the right career path. During these difficult years, giving up would have been easy to understand. But thinking that this was as good as it was going to get was not an option for either my son or for me. We continued to search for glimmers of light, even if the glimmers were only faint.
What we learned and what many cognitive behavior therapists realize, is that focusing on “what is working” provides an opportunity for that image to grow and gives hope and encouragement to the process of change. The opposite is also true. For instance, depression is deepened by hopeless thoughts and fears – what if I never get better, what is the use of trying, etc. Changing self-talk to recognition of what is working even if it is meager at first begins to change the trajectory of your recovery. Giving yourself credit for getting out of bed and brushing your teeth may seem ridiculous if you compare your behavior to others or to your past routines. But, if you are deeply depressed, getting out of bed and brushing your teeth affirms that you can make progress, that slowly you can move forward. Small steps contradict the negative and testify to small glimmers of hope that can grow with perseverance.
While not everyone experiences serious mental illness, most everyone contends with some challenge that makes moving forward and finding hope difficult. Those are the periods of our lives when it is easy to give up and do nothing. Focusing on the impossibility of a situation can prevent even trying to make necessary changes. This does not mean thinking rosy thoughts will make everything rosy! And it does not mean to disregard the seriousness of a dire situation. Certainly, recognizing and accepting what may appear to be a calamity can be an important step in the process of making changes. But moving forward means looking for small bits of light which can grow to reassurance that you will make it through this challenge – perhaps not returning to your former self but to a wiser, more accepting version of who you were.