Holiday Advice for Mental Health Caregivers
Holidays can be filled with positive stress due to excitement and anticipation and negative stress due to expectations and demands. Knowing that our loved ones with schizophrenia or serious mental illness may be vulnerable to excessive stress means that it is important as caregivers to keep stress managed as well as possible. While we do not have control over all the factors that influence family members, we can encourage good self-care. Here are a few suggestions:
Make sure that your family plans that include your loved one do not create undue pressure. If they are unable to engage in a family activity, be understanding and accepting even if you are disappointed. Keeping their mental health stable is a priority that ranks above “family traditions.”
Allow your family member to find comfortable exits if an activity is too stressful. Can they go to another room, take a nap, or even decide to leave the gathering in an unobtrusive manner? Although my son has now reached recovery, in the past there were times when he would take a nap on the couch with a room full of people. How he managed, I will never know because the room would usually be noisy and bustling with people! Despite the confusion, that escape worked well for him.
Check on his or her well-being from time to time to monitor any noticeable behavior changes. Are they sleeping more, are they more withdrawn or agitated, do they seem unusually pre-occupied ? If you observe any changes that may indicate stress, make sure that you address these issues with them in a supportive way.
Most importantly make sure that as a caregiver that you are taking care of yourself. Stress is contagious and you can create apprehension and tension in those around you if you are feeling stressed. Find ways to stay calm and keep the holiday activity manageable. Celebrations do not have to be the same every year or meet the expectation of being the “best ever”. Last year, I made really cute snowman gift boxes for the grandchildren; this year, their presents will be in regular wrapping. Keeping things simple can be helpful.
Remember there is still a Covid pandemic and many will still not feel comfortable meeting in person. Another zoom Christmas may be less stressful to those who worry about viral transmission. Virtual celebrations still have a lot of advantages. Being constantly on edge for fear of exposure to new variations of Covid could create a lot of discomfort. We need to honor all family members' needs.
Have a happy holiday!