Can We Just Talk About This?

How many people still feel a need to whisper their diagnosis of “schizophrenia”? How many family members living with someone with schizophrenia still hesitate before they talk about their loved one’s diagnosis? Of course the actual number is unknown but I would guess there are many more people who are reluctant to discuss their association with schizophrenia or any mental illness for that matter, than there are those who are choosing to be open.

One of the interesting results of writing my book about Jacob's recovery from schizophrenia is that I discover so many people who want to talk about their family's experience with schizophrenia or mental illness of some kind. Invariably whether I am at a book signing or speaking to a group about the book , someone will tell me their story privately afterwards. If I happen to mention the book when I am at the doctor's office, the grocery store, the hair salon, or some other routine activity, many times someone will share their own story. This is heart-warming to me and is exactly the what I hoped would happen. I want this book to be a way to encourage others to talk about their experiences with mental illness. I do not want to continue to see others isolated by their fears that someone will misunderstand or judge them in a negative way.

What this says, however, is that talking about personal experiences with schizophrenia or mental illness is still not common or comfortable. Yes, many people have taken steps to be more public. Celebrities have used their platforms to “normalize” mental illness. Others have courageously written or spoken about their mental health challenges. Websites are available for blogging stories and some individuals agree to be part of a speaker's forum. Yet with all of this openness, it appears that we still have a long way to go before mental health reaches social parity with physical health.

I am not suggesting that mental health problems should be the focus of every conversation that we have with friends. Constantly talking about physical health problems can get tiresome too, but there are appropriate opportunities to discuss our physical health and seek support when we need it. Those of us who cope with mental illness or who have family members with mental illness, do not find the same number of opportunities to be open about the difficulties that we experience. Many still find at best, polite responses, “I am so sorry to hear this” followed by some kind of conversation exit.

Is this because the general public is afraid of those with mental illness? Do people think of those with mental illness as dangerous and that they should be “locked up”? Is it because many people do not understand the struggles that people with mental illness face? Is it because they seldom hear anyone talking about mental illness, and they just do not know what to say? Perhaps it is all of the above and maybe more.

Whatever the reason, this dynamic needs to change. The more we talk about schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, depression, anxiety, post-traumatic stress disorder etc., the more we educate others about the illness. The more freely we talk about these topics, the more comfortable we all become with mental issues. By talking more openly we begin to normalize the abnormal. Talking about abnormal behavior should be as easy as talking about abnormal cancer cells. Yes, it is risky but if we do not take these risks, if we continue to hide behind our own fears and vulnerabilities, we perpetuate the stigma of mental illness.