Reflections on Publication Day
I am trying to remember when I first decided to write about our journey with schizophrenia. I know that I have made many attempts on my computer and most of them started with the scene in Jacob's bedroom when I found his spiral-bound green notebook labeled “My Schizophrenic Notebook.” That moment will forever be etched in my mind. I will always remember my complete disbelief that he had been experiencing symptoms of such a life-changing illness. As I mention in the book, Jacob may have had precursory signs but these early behaviors could easily be explained by other difficulties. He had become more withdrawn and less social, he did sleep more, and he did seem depressed. These are also behaviors exhibited by teens with depression, adjustment issues, or “teen angst”. Who would have thought of schizophrenia? Certainly I did not! Yet that moment was the beginning of a 20 year journey towards his recovery.
Jacob and I have learned a lot during these years. Although we have discovered no magic cure or one-size-fits-all answer, we do know that what we experienced can happen to many individuals diagnosed with schizophrenia. The recovery process can be different for each person but what we learned may be able to help others. Fortunately more and more people are speaking out about their journey with schizophrenia but it is still often a misunderstood illness. Many people not familiar with the illness still fear those with schizophrenia or make judgments that are inaccurate and stigmatizing. Hopefully our book will encourage even more individuals with schizophrenia or their families to share their stories and also to continue to increase acceptance and understanding among the general public.
Even though this is a very personal story, making all of this public engenders feelings of vulnerability for both Jacob and me. We can anticipate differing reviews, criticism, or judgment because that is part of the publishing process. This will increase our learning. I do not expect the book to be perfect or to fit the criteria for a bestseller. The real goal for writing this book has been to reach families who are experiencing similar challenges and helping them find hope in their own journey. If that can happen, then our own experiences will have meaning for others. And for those who are not on this roller coaster journey, hopefully the book will help you understand the illness of schizophrenia better.