The Power of Words

Many types of weapons have been invented to harm other human beings. One weapon which has been around for thousands of years is one we often use but do not consider its' impact: The Spoken Word. Words can be extremely powerful and when used to hurt others can be very damaging. The old adage, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me” is certainly not true in many circumstances. Hurtful words can last in one's psyche, long after bones are healed. Many spend years trying to erase the words from a school bully, an angry parent, or a mean-spirited acquaintance.

As a retired psychologist and as a clinician who often used hypnotherapy as part of my practice, I have been keenly aware of how important the use of words can be. What you say to clients and to friends can send messages of hopelessness or empowerment. For instance, how would you feel if you shared a story about a trauma that you experienced and your therapist responded with, “That is the most horrible story I have ever heard. If I were you, I would just curl up and never go anywhere”? In contrast if they replied,” That must have been very difficult for you. It is hard to cope with such an experience but, perhaps together we can find ways for you to develop coping strategies and build more resilience.” elicits much more hope.

The recent incident at the Academy Awards is another example of the power of words. While attempting to be funny, Chris Rock made fun of Jada Pinkett Smith's challenges with alopecia. Although his intentions were probably not malicious, the repercussions of the joke about her illness was most likely embarrassing and painful to her. In addition, the frenzied media responses have intensified the impact.

People with mental illness have often been the target of misunderstanding and hurtful jokes. A study in Britain found hundreds of derogatory words used to describe people with mental illness (Rose et al., 2007). Even if someone is not experiencing mental illness, using disparaging words that have been used to refer to someone with mental illness when joking with someone still perpetuates disrespect and stigma towards those who are coping with a serious illness. The Academy Awards fiasco aside, most people do not joke or make fun of someone with diabetes, cancer, or other physical illnesses. Why not? Because it is a mean thing to do. It is just as mean to joke about mental illness. In addition, it perpetuates stigma that makes it for hard for people to seek treatment for mental health issues. Few want to be seen or judged with such negativity.

Being more thoughtful, sensitive and careful about the words that we choose can be an important way to prevent psychologically damaging and sometimes, long-lasting hurt. Being aware of what we say and how we say it can be an important way to take responsibility for our choices and our impact on others. Words do not have to be weapons. Words can be used as an opportunity to reduce hurt and increase respect towards others. They can be used to empower and improve the lives of others.

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The Calming Effect of Consistency

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Building Resilience